#in fact it is detrimental at times

[new-haven-psych-ward]

Kamen Rider Geats episode 41 poorly summarized via memes with as little context as possible:

[frobby]

i think a core component of the okumura twins relationship is that if you told them before the series what happens in the future, they would worry about each other before themselves

[yepthatsacowalright]

Been wanting to try to digitally paint sunset clouds for a while now, remembered this shot in FOTR exists, and sort of blacked out the past few days working on it.

[cologona]

I’ve gotten oversaturated on good sibling Tim and Dick stuff they’re all members of the deeply toxic family dynamic how about we let them suck just a little bit 2024.

[jemmo]

i finally got the time to watch love is better the second time around and im not at all shocked that im obsessed with the adult second chance at love jbl - have you met me.

but it also needs to be known that shiraishi is my beloved, the actor plays this role so perfectly and i want my bitchy sad gay to find true love

[absentlyabbie]

i've developed some interesting methods of handling having a relationship with my mother who made my childhood/teen years misery and committed more than a little abuse.

as an adult, we have a very different dynamic, her daughters (sister and i) have confronted her with a lot of her bullshit and the things she both did and enabled. for some she has been sorrowful and even sometimes apologetic. she's a better mother to me now than she ever was when i most needed one. so i'll never actually trust her again, and she'll never be much deeper than surface level in my life, but we have something mostly good now, and on my terms.

however, she is very definitely one of those "i don't remember it that way" and "i did the best i could" mothers in a lot of areas, and has also always been the type to (probably unconsciously) emotionally manipulate the people she's hurt into catering to her hurt feelings about it instead.

over the years i've learned to get really comfortable with just not indulging it.

is she having a bad day, seems sad and upset? i'll give her a hug, try to make her laugh. if she throws broad hints it's a surge of hurt feelings about having driven one of her children to cut her off? well i'm just gonna stand there and not acknowledge or entertain it.

"well, apparently i was a bad mother" or shit like that? i'm just gonna look at her for a second, and i might either shrug or even nod, but i'm not saying a damn thing. i'm not awkwardly, uncomfortably, painfully contorting to her guilt trip nonsense. i'm not apologizing or trying to soothe her or reassure her or minimize it.

like, yeah. you really were. you know it, glad to hear it. we've definitely had that talk.

best kindness, most generosity i can offer her in times like that is not maintaining eye contact to bluntly tell her "yeah, you were." she can go ahead and feel bad about it.

it's not on me to make her feel less bad. she should feel bad. and i am definitely not someone she gets to seek comfort from about it.

hopefully someday she'll inch past just "poor me, i'm so sad and angsty about it" towards, like, examining the whys and acknowledging what she actually did wrong and work actively to be be better. in a few places, some of that has happened.

but that's her work. her job and responsibility. she can do that shit on her own time.

i say all this to offer a shoulder of solidarity to others like me. if you maintain a complicated relationship as an adult with the parent who hurt you and did you wrong as a child, that is okay. you get to choose how and if to thread that needle.

but you don't have to accommodate emotional manipulation and guilt trip garbage. stonewall it. walk away if you need to. don't apologize. don't try to make it better. that's not on you and it doesn't have to be. it's okay.

[hella1975]

there's a very specific kind of vibe that comes with living with your friends in final year that it just does not have in first year or even second year. like as a fresher it's usually the first time any of you have lived away from home let alone with SO MANY people your age and it's terrifying and exciting and randomised to boot so it's generally carnage for a whole year in the best and worst ways, and then second year you pick who you're living with and it feels like for the first time you're doing this adult thing PROPERLY. you have a place of your own now. these are the people you've chosen to live with. studying gets serious etc. but it's still fresh. it's still new. you still don't know how to navigate it. but final year? final year is when you actually get it right. you know how to manage your time better. you know what works for you and what doesn't. studying is the main focus and you've been out in the world for three years now and it's not loud and boisterous like it was in first year and you're not exciteable and awkward like you were in second year. you're comfortable. every single one of my flatmates has their own friend group and we mainly keep to our own social circles, but we'll still meet each other back at the house after a night out and sit in the kitchen or my room to do the debrief. sometimes i'll go days not seeing either of them despite sharing a house but every now and then someone will softly call up the stairs that 'the heating's on!' or one of us will sneeze and the other two will yell 'bless you!' through the walls. the lack of interaction isn't interpreted as dislike in ways it would have been even last year, because we're all just old enough to be past that now and settled enough in our friendship not to worry about it. idk. uni is very loud and unsettling a lot of the time so it's been really sweet to see how almost boringly comfortable final year is.

[daisies-on-a-cup]

part of me believes that community is foundational and that is it true that human beings were made to be "pack people" and were never supposed to go about this life alone. part of me also believes that going to the grocery store with people you love, doing random, mundane things with those you cherish, is a good thing and deepens social bonds in a way that no other interaction can. however, i think if you can't do those things alone, if you can't go to the grocery store without a friend or eat something without someone next to you, then you are at huge risk of losing your sense of self. there's also something there about mental stability and independence, that if you can't do anything alone, be anywhere with just your thoughts and you alone, then there's something wrong there i think. it's not normal to need someone by your side every waking moment of your day or else something bad will happen. there shouldn't need to be a distraction of a phone or a person for everything you do. it is a beautiful and wonderful thing to do things together, but you should also be able to do it alone without falling to your own mind

[monster-noises]

There are things about my struggles with singleness i will gladly prattle on about on this web site in post after post and i Have, certainly;

but there are parts of the struggle I have just a damn hard time posting about despite really reeeeaallly needing to get out so i can maybe go focus on something else for a bit

And I mean this applies to more than just my (really uneventful but somehow just as consuming and complicated) dating life, but right now that's what i'm pacing around my apartment muttering about when i should be making sure my dinner doesn't burn and having my dishes done. So.

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

lies on the floor and has just So Many Feelings about all the ways in which pericles and cassidy are foils, one of them being the comparison between how they use constant, vocal, unabashed affirmation of the qualities they value about themselves to cope with rock bottom self-esteem.

there's so much to be said here about how pericles' 'positive' self-talk is ultimately destructive to himself and everyone around him, whereas cassidy's has both been healing for her and held her back from processing her self-loathing in other ways, and so much of that has to do with her experiencing firsthand the results of pericles' shit handling of his poor self-esteem and desperately not wanting to be anything like him. fuck me up man

[mitochondriaandbunnies]

The Outcasts (1968) - Episode 2: A Ride to Vengeance

This is the kind of show that starts with the main characters mugging "GASP! Did you STEAL the COOKIES?" faces in response to surprise false murder charges and ends with them bickering about money and riding away laughing while a couple they nearly broke up watches in mute disdain. However, It is also the kind of show that (without using the specific terminology, because it was written in 1968 and is about emotionally constipated men in 1873) unpacks the fact that a) the Black lead has PTSD as a result of being a slave, b) that a white man accused him of murder simply because he made a fool of him years earlier, and c) that he is aware of things as a Black man in 1800's America that the white lead is not and that the white lead doesn't need him to prove that to believe it's true. The tonal whiplash is occasionally vertigo-inducing.

[straylaughs]

also sorry for disappearing so much i think i ended up losing all my interests all at once so im in this weird limbo state of trying to keep them while trying desperately to find something new to keep me from spiralling

[sc-intothedarknightofthesoul]

Part of the reason why I've started to screen record my Libra of Soul gameplays (similar to why I recorded my SWTOR gameplays in the past) are in fact because there are story scenes I really liked, but unfortunately cannot replay to an extent.

While yes, I can replay some missions, but only the ones with the fighting gameplay.

My short term memory nowadays also sucks, especially now that I'm writing a fanfic.

[whitehartlane]

spurs fans you are a curious bunch

[izzyspussy]

dru bringing spike a puppy to eat instead of a person. it's certainly giving something.

[bl00dh0rs3]

more monkey thoughts. Dont look at me im just trying to explain/figure out More reasons why they (moreso LEMH) make me go crazy (again)

OKAY Full disclosure. this was spurred by some posts ive seen floating around and they are Objectively correct and i agree with them, but the wordage they use is what bothers me and makes me think--its about the general and growing frustration and dismay over LEMH's portrayal and like... increased Importance in LMK, at the expense of like, literally all the other characters new and old.

Again, objectively that is INCREDIBLY true and i feel it 200%!!!! Its frustrating because they just yoinked aspects of SWK's relationships with characters like DBK from the original JTTW and Shoved them on LEMH like theyre Tropes that can be shifted around without consequence--it seems fine and interesting when you first watch LMK with no context or background knowledge, but after knowing what his ACTUAL deal was in the book, looking back on LMK makes what they are doing with LEMH feel lazy and Genuinely poorly researched, rather than an intentional divergence from the original story--because as a general rule of thumb, even if the fans dont Like what you changed, you still want the things in your story to be done On Purpose, like you at least Tried to put effort into it! Its about showing the audience that you think they deserve a narrative that was crafted with Care, not just slapped together and thrown out for a quick Hype/Cash grab, yk???

Anyway So THATS the thing, and thats all cool!!! My issue (and i cannot stress this enough this is Me being Silly and Obsessed with the Six Eared Macaque im a chronic blorbo haver there is no Cure) is that those posts Also tend to talk about LEMH as though... he is a boring character. As though he's just kind of "eh". Or at least thats how my Admittedly biased eyes read them--no beef! Its just gotten me to thinking and now i want to try to write out What im thinking and Why, bc thats a helpful thing to do when you're struggling to figure in your head, obvs obvs

And im of course willing to admit that Yes, in the original text, he is just kind of There! He serves his purpose (aiding in SWK's character development) and then he dies and he doesn't come back again! Hes kind of a metaphor but hes also just an annoying guy! Hes not presented as anything special! I get that that is what is Canon, and thats theres no way to really like... read anything deep into it. Bc theres literally nothing there.

But my problem is that i cannot let characters like that just Be. Especially if the premise of said character could be absolutely FASCINATING if you take it all Completely seriously and At face value--if you try to see whatever is going on for them through their eyes, their minds. Its like.... You can buy a shirt from the store as is, and some might be fine Wearing it as is--while other's might see that shirt and decide it needs a bit of hemming and perhaps some embroidery on the sleeves. Altering it does not change the fact that the original design is what it is--thats just One altered shirt that one person is wearing and perhaps lending to a friend or two, yk???

I love metaphors l. Sorry that dragged on, back to monkey--

To me? LEMH exists in a nebulous state of inevitable connection with SWK--because i like to take the "LEMH is SWK's ~dark side~" thing seriously. In my eyes, they are literally the same person, the same qi, split into two bodies.

There are stories that exist today that explore this idea, characters with this kind of relationship--and i find them incredibly compelling! Because i adore stories that play with the question of what makes a person a person. What seperates you from your maker/origins? What is your purpose in life when you are intrinsically connected to another person, at your very core? Does that mean you exist For them? Do they exist for you? How does thinking that way affect a person, mentally and emotionally? How does it affect these characters, specifically, in conjunction with their personalities and the lives theyd led up until the point they knew about this connection? Have they always known about this connection? Only one of them?

How much more drastic would it affect you if you were essentially a nobody--and the person you are connected to is a public figure? Like Sun Wukong?

Id go crazy. Id go fucking insane? Can you imagine. Its about the potential!!!!! The potential of what knowing something like that would do to someone!!! Im losing the words im apologize i need to calm down--im Not done yet.

What i am getting at here.... is that LEMH would likely work Best as a character who's metaphorical aspects are taken Very Literally--especially so if the story also decides to lean into the idea of his hearing reaching through to the past and future, in any way. He is a character that would thrive on being portrayed in a way that allows him to be a bit Meta, if that makes sense

Yes, you Could just let him be a silly monkey who decided to start shit with SWK for giggles one day--that can absolutely have its merits! But that does not satisfy me, and that is why i am so passionate about him. I want to take my little guy so so fucking seriously because i think it would be SO fucking cool. And a very useful and convenient way to explore ideas about relationships with The Self--since in my eyes, that is what his relationship would be with SWK.

AND ALL THIS STUFF ABSOLUTELY HAS ANOTHER SIDE TO IT, HOW IT ALL COULD AFFECT SWK ON HIS SIDE??? LIKE HOLY SHIT. HOLY SHIT i dont know if i want this post to be That long so i might stop here and come back later to talk abt it from SWKs side in a rb or something--

anyway point is. I thank LMK for introducing me to the Six Eared Macaque, but upon further analysis the way they did him is actually pretty garbo, and im biding my time for till someone introduces me to or Makes a version of him that takes him to his full potential. thats all thanks for coming to my TED talk, get out of my house please